Salvaged review: Playskool Go-Bots Buzzer-Bot

(I just found my original draft of a text review I did for the now-defunct Transforming Block blog that I got involved with a while ago. I still feel awful about that whole affair; I could have tried so much harder. But anyway, here's this thing!)

Playskool Go-Bots have always seemed a little bit horrible to me. Released by Hasbro in the early 2000s, at the height of my hatred/dismissal of all things not-G1, they were simplistic, inflated-looking weirdos created with the sole purpose of getting a generation of pre-schoolers hooked on the plastic crack before they even had time to know what the Hell was going on. Looking back today, I could retro-actively claim that I rejected the Go-Bots through righteous anti-consumerist disgust, but in reality I just thought they were bollocks.

And then about a year ago, I found one in a charity shop and honestly he fills my world with a loveliness so pure that if I died tomorrow I don't even think I'd mind.


Buzzer-Bot, then: he's basically Waspinator. He's purple and green and he turns into a wasp. Actually, over his four releases he turned into a wasp, a motorcycle, a wasp again, and finally the version I picked up: a convertible.

Yes. OH GOD YES

The first thing that you need to understand is that this thing is big. This is one hefty mamma jamma. Being designed for children (who on the whole are tantrum-throwing, everything-biting idiots), Buzzer-Bot is a massive, chunky beast with nothing but huge, choke-proof parts and curves to die for.

Buzzer-Bot beside Bumblebee: bloody big bugger

I don't mind telling you: I completely love this figure. It looks good, the plastic is weighty and indestructible, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I don't even care if that's weird. Even in spite of being an inflated, exaggerated, slightly girly cartoon, Buzzer-Bot's convertible form still manages to be swish, sleek and totally fast. Its profile is awesome: the swept-back windscreen and rear spoiler almost look like they can't believe how fast the oversized wheels are bombing along.

am i wrong though

What truly won me over abut this guy was the transformation. It's pretty generic stuff and very brief, but I'm addicted to it. Just pull out the rear of the vehicle to form the robot legs (y'know, the classic), swivel at the waist and from then on it's all automorph, baby! Pull the hood down to reveal the head, and the colossal shoulder joints will slowly shift outward to form the arms and tidily complete the 'bot. I know, right?!

B'AAWWWWW

LOOK AT THAT FELLER. Don't you just wanna eat him all up? Buzzer-Bot is the cutest thing: check out  those silly purple fists, the adorable take on the classic carformer chest and that cocky power stance. He also sports some of the noisiest goddamned ratcheting I have ever witnessed. Even his face looks like a combo of Kamen Rider and the baby from Jim Henson's Dinosaurs:

"I honestly could not be more pleased to see you! Also, NOT DA MOMMA"

I want Buzzer-Bot to be my best friend. Although he wears the colours of a Decepticon, I absolutely cannot picture him as a bad guy. I think the emblem on his chest just means "Go-Bots", or at least I hope it does; I don't even know if the franchise had goodies and baddies, but the idea of anyone wanting to kill this feller defies all belief.

Playskool Go-Bots, then: equal parts Animated, Fast Action Battlers and Activators, with an additional heapin' spoonful of irresistible charm. Put the name into Google and the first thing you'll find is a fansite called "Playskool Go-Bots are Pure Love".

Pure love, guys. Pure love.